Don’t Be So Controlling
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5
Some kids at a summer camp were discussing creation, and one asked, ‘If everything has a purpose, how come God made poison ivy?’ Another replied, ‘Because He knows there are some things we should keep our hands off!’ But keeping your hands off things isn’t easy when you’re insecure and controlling by nature. ‘Sometimes my husband drives me crazy,’ you say. Well, maybe you drive him crazy too! The Bible says, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they will become one flesh’ (Genesis 2:24). Notice the word ‘become’. Leaving is the easy part; becoming is the hard part. It takes love, patience, kindness, and hard work. Jesus said, ‘…Stop allowing yourselves to be…unsettled’ (John 14:27). You’re doing it to yourself! Learn to ‘let go’ and work on developing the fruits of the Spirit in your own life. Letting go doesn’t mean you don’t care; it just means allowing others to learn in their own way and through their own experiences. It calls for focusing on Jesus rather than obsessing on the other person’s behavior. ‘You will keep in perfect peace…all whose thoughts are fixed on You!’ (Isaiah 26:3). Fix your thoughts on God, not others. Letting go means caring about, instead of care-taking. It means stepping out of the middle and not trying to influence the outcome by fixing, judging, nagging, scolding, arguing, criticizing, and regulating. It’s about facing each day with God’s help and cherishing each moment. It’s about realizing the only person you can ‘change’ is yourself. It’s about fearing less and trusting more. And it’s the only way to be happy.
Prayer
Heavenly Father, help me to be less controlling of others. Let me trust You to work. In Jesus’ Name, Amen
Naw, I see what you’re saying, and I appreciate you, but submitting to my husband didn’t do me any good. And not confronting him didn’t do me any good. And he was too dense to pick up on statements I made about not liking that he didn’t help with laundry, or cleaning around the house. And not liking his ideas of when the kids should go to bed and when they should get up and when they should have electronics. My daughter was confrontational all the time. Not to mention my lack of self esteem from not having a voice. I finally flipped out, packed up stuff and left with the kids for a night. I was just fed up. And now he helps around the house and does laundry and doesn’t wake the kids up at 4:30am and the atmosphere of the house is a lot better. Sometimes exerting a little control can fix problems.