From Comparison to Sober Self-Evaluation

“For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.” Romans 12:3

Comparing ourselves to others is almost as common among us as breathing. Comparing our talent, our looks, our wealth, or social status are just a few of the areas we tend to line ourselves up against others. And it is impossible to deny that social media has increased this self-evaluation process, if not at least made it easier to do so more often.

Psychologist Leon Festinger brought comparison forward for discussion in the therapeutic world in 1954 when he introduced the Social Comparison Theory. The theory posits that individuals determine their own social and personal value based on how they compare with others.

Interesting research has discovered that when we hit difficult times we will always perform a downward comparison, that is, to compare ourselves with someone who is deemed to have it ‘worse than we do’.

You may have heard this suggested to you during difficult times. Someone will suggest that you should ‘remember that there are those who have it worse than you do.’ This quick comparison provides a numbing effect to our own experience of pain. This temporary sense of relief from the pain of our own current situation, however, is much like depending on a Snickers bar when we are hungry. While the candy may hit our hunger spot, the sugar high is fleeting and certainly not the best nutrition.

When we use this form of comparison we are actually capitalizing or benefitting from the pain and misery of others. Such a self-serving view causes us to miss the opportunity to actively and empathetically care for those who are suffering around us.

This downward comparison is more detrimental as it stunts our physical, emotional, and spiritual growth and maturity by avoiding our own pain.

Long before human psychology took up this conversation, our Creator invited us to move away from comparison and use sober self-evaluation.

Romans 12:3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.

SOBER SELF-EVALUATION – This is what it means to follow Jesus, to be changed by Him, and to be committed to His mission.

Prayer
Lord Jesus, would you help us to be able to take the issues in the places that we encounter pain in our life and to be able to sit with them and acknowledge them for what they are? To not demean them by maybe looking at others’ misfortune, but instead, dealing with the pain that is in our life. We know that you come alongside us to help us do that, so help us to evaluate, in a sober way as your scriptures call us to do, to evaluate that pain that we go under, the pain that we experience, the pain that we face, knowing that you will see us through. We pray this in Jesus’ name, Amen.