“Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” (Ephesians 4:29)

“Christopher, if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say it at all.” Yes, that is the voice of my mother. I can hear it so clearly as if she was sitting right here next to me. I was ‘Christopher’ when it was serious.  And if she would add my middle name, I was probably in trouble. This particular phrase was one I would hear after I would say something that was hurtful to my sister.

I remembered it when I came across this verse in my morning meditation:
“Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” (Ephesians 4:29)

DON’T USE FOUL LANGUAGE. I guess most of us would expect this directive from God, He is holy after all and this kind of language isn’t nice. But social science may indicate another reason God asks us to avoid foul language. Studies have pointed out that when one uses profanity they are viewed by others less favorably in intelligence, aggressiveness, likability, and overall character.

DON’T USE ABUSIVE LANGUAGE. In this particular translation the same Greek word that gives us ‘FOUL’ also gives us ‘ABUSIVE’. In our culture today that word brings thoughts of an abusive parent or an abusive spouse. It certainly includes these but the application goes more widely. God’s Word goes on to describe foul and abusive by contrasting it with ‘good, helpful and encouraging.’ This contrast helps us all understand that anything we say that is not good, helpful, or encouraging is actually harmful. And such harmful words are to be….well in the words of my mother, “not said at all.”

This doesn’t mean that we should avoid speaking the truth when it is difficult. In these cases, God calls us to speak the truth with love, gentleness and respect. When we speak such words in this way God calls this good, helpful, and encouraging. In fact, God does the same with you! How many times have you come across a scripture passage that made you feel uncomfortable? Many of us are quick to turn the page quickly and find a more comforting verse. Yet those scriptures that cause us to feel uncomfortable are given to us out of God’s love and meant to help us to see those broken things that we can’t fix and then encourage us to turn to Him so that we can receive His Son Jesus who can forgive, repair, and restore.

This is exactly what Jesus was talking about when He said, “And the very words I have spoken to you are spirit and life.” After spending this time with Jesus I pray that your response is the same as Simon Peter’s: “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words that give eternal life.” And remember, if you don’t have anything nice to say…don’t say it at all.

Prayer
Lord Jesus, You have warned us consistently throughout Your Word to be cautious of the words that we use and the words that we say. And here again, You have reminded us not to use foul or abusive language. You’ve told us the harm that can come from using such language. And so forgive us for the times that we have not been mindful of our words.

Forgive us for the times when we’ve been very intentional and used our words to actually hurt or harm another person. Would You forgive us and would You also give to us Your words of eternal life? And as we receive those words of forgiveness, those words that are good and encouraging, words that are true, words that are gentle, words that are loving, would You help us to share that with those that we come into contact with this week?

Remind us to be mindful of our language. Remind us to use words that are good, helpful, and encouraging. We pray this in Jesus’ name. Amen.